the world is spinning for those that can see it and we shirk the complacency of stillness lines blur to mushed skeletal remains chaos is what killed the... cat... so we fall into the normal all the time kicking and screaming that we are the originality of the world try try try too hard and mimic our predecessors did you know i can barely write these words of wis dumb so i scratch out my failings in blue ink watch the spinning masses who will not settle strength was never my virtuous ally and i feel my enemy body crumble in the stress-test i would cut off my arm if you would accept it it has only worked against me so the violation continued for ten years unhindered and rekindled somewhere, my baby is laughing... left in her time of need she lost her blood but i had bled so many times before in the name of pleasure and the hands squeezed my breasts for the milk i would have given her the well inside me has grown dry and empty you tried to fill it up and i denied entrance but you didn’t listen... when i cry i am afraid i will shrivel up can’t spare the moisture in a bone-dry calmness i have slit my wrist a million times just to drink to wash the taste of your saliva from my mouth and i don’t even have your name to curse you’ve buried a fear in me that goes way beyond skin-deep it’s something i cannot shake alone under the stars i am deathly afraid of the dark i keep waiting for the hands that never come...